Nothing Left

I have a confession, Dad.
What to say?

I want to be the hero
you will not need
to meet the eyes that won't understand
to reveal the secret
and turn the key to you

But how do I explain?
How do I sum it all up?

How your shadow fills me
alone in the dark
on those cold mornings
when I light the family fires

When I face ingratitude
When I lose control
When I see blue-black steel

I tried to explain
and give it to you as a gift
but I left us drowning in a somber sea

Words always fail me
and I wind up spinning pinwheels
when I wish to move the stars

So your life will speak for itself
and does not need me after all

And will be misunderstood
and wrongfully judged
and hailed
and missed

And at that moment that I dread the most
Leave me
with nothing left to say

copyright t.ewing2008

Jump (song lyric)

You talk to me in fairy tales
of long forgotten dreams
Our happily-ever-after love
was harder than it seemed

You think you've had enough
You think you've the right to jump

You talk about the could've beens
talk of what you lost
Is the price you paid for love
more than what it costs?

You think you've had enough
You think you've the right to jump

Someday when you're off and on your own...
Someday when your free from what we called a home
You knew exactly someday what you'd say
But now you stand there silent you're somedays come today

You think you've had enough
You think you've the right to jump

Cause you've had enough
Don't give you the right to jump
Jump

What am I supposed to say?
What do you want to hear?
Is forgiveness what you seek
or is it what you fear?

You think you've had enough
You think you've the right to jump
Jump

Cause you've had enough
Don't give you the right to jump
Jump

copyright2008t.ewing

The Ties That Bind (Song Lyric)

The vows we make
The ties that bind
Your broken heart
Your grieving mind

The faceless days
The endless nights
The who was wrong
The who was right

The ties that bind

The winter chill
The summer wine
Friends of yours
Not friends of mine

The people that
You thought you knew
The same old me
This brand new you

The ties that bind

CHORUS
Innocence
Stubborn pride
Guilt we share
Thoughts you hide

In a sense
The angry why
Sets me free
Breaks these ties

The ties that bind

The love that came
But didn't stay
Those simple words
I didn't say

Not black or white
But shades of grey
The perfect sense
Of disarray

The ties that bind

(Repeat Chorus)

The dancing hall
The country club
The holy church
The corner pub

It's nothing more
But so much less
The overcrowd
Of loneliness

The ties that bind

copyright2008t.ewing

A Christening Photograph

a Christening photograph
father child mother
a formidable background

under gentle weight
the child rests securely in
Gothic hands with the semblance of stone

a granite caress

a rock a tower a pillar
watch the eyes


mind's mortar cracked
thought's seep through to
another time
same trio

after the funeral side of the road
your father's death has chipped
the stoic facade

I watch

you raise those heavy hands
damming the flooded pools
hidden tears behind a wall of stone

gripping the wheel
you drive on

these hands
hold the memory
those hands
cradle the infant

similar not the same

time deepens cracks and crevasses

yet gazing at you
a solitary unprotected tear
baptizes us both
in a somber sea

copyright 2008 t. ewing

Odd

Strike the blow
Rent the veil
Tear it asunder

Speak now or
Hold your peace
Fear the silence

Cut the ties
Slice the bands
Rip it apart

Close the lid
Throw the dirt
Bury it deep

Shed the tear
Lick the salt
Taste it bitter

Drink it down
Throw it up
Choke on it

Betray the trust
Lie to truth
Convince your self

Cards are laid
Dice are thrown
Life goes on

Footsteps in the Forest

The starter's gun shot choas
The frantic flood of harried hoofbeats
Left nature's silence bleeding
Upon the forest floor.

Spilling through the meadow
With flailing arms and jumbled breath
Awkward bodies in jangled motion
Tripping down the hillside.

But somewhere near the water's edge
In shadows of the wood
With purpose-filled hearts and harmonious strides
We distanced ourselves from the rest.

Then we breathed the rays of sunlight
Felt the blood course in our veins
And heard nature echo the single sound
Of footsteps in the forest.

Your foot still treads those wooded paths
My thoughts run through these lines
The race changed, once one of innocence
Now numbers and measures and time.

We are jostled one day into the next
Our time is not our own
The world has knocked us out of sync
Tangled, stumbling, losing balance.

But when I feel the discord,
Seeking isolation from this world,
I reach back in the shadows
Searching for the water's edge.

And there I breathe the sunlight
Feel your blood course in my veins
And hear the single-sounding echo
Of footsteps in the forest.


copyright 2008 t. ewing

New Hope Revisited

This is to give A.J. some background as he translates poem to music. As you know, there is a town named New Hope, I did live there, and I worked as a bartender at a place called John and Peter's. I was also just divorced, working as a framer, finishing my college degree, and student teaching. My life was fairly insane on many levels so why not move to the capital. The only way to stand out in New Hope was to be "normal". Wear a pink too-too while riding a unicycle with a heroin needle hanging out your arm? Your good. It was great at first. Everything was new or at least different. Funny thing about crazy though, when it becomes normal, it loses it's edge. Working at the bar, the gay's outrageousness, the biker's bad ass bravado, the drugs, the tattoo's, the madness......became boring and old. It led me to brood on the idea of new hope. There is no "new" hope. It's really just the same old hope or perhaps the absence of hope altogether. Perhaps that is the conclusion reached by the man on the bridge, also real. I was in that mind set so it did have a big impact on me. New hope is our own creation; something to get us through the night. It is shiny and bright, like those lights....but ultimately, empty. The "dead ahead" were the living characters I met there. And the realization that "new" hope does not exist, helped me move on.

I hear the song as an up-beat, techno, dance mix. Just kidding. Best of luck.

Calling (For Chick)

Usually
I call to speak of nothing
Just call
Sometimes I think I'm moving boulders
Sometimes just throwing stones
We laugh at the cracks
In the rocks
In my hands
And what spills out surprises us both

Banners
Flailing atop thinking towers
Some blood red
Some ghostly white
Others just grey
Invisible
Unraveling and blathering, endlessly
Into the child night
I call to speak of nothing
Just call
I call to hear her listen
And so I can listen too

copyright tom ewing 2008