Nothing Left

I have a confession, Dad.
What to say?

I want to be the hero
you will not need
to meet the eyes that won't understand
to reveal the secret
and turn the key to you

But how do I explain?
How do I sum it all up?

How your shadow fills me
alone in the dark
on those cold mornings
when I light the family fires

When I face ingratitude
When I lose control
When I see blue-black steel

I tried to explain
and give it to you as a gift
but I left us drowning in a somber sea

Words always fail me
and I wind up spinning pinwheels
when I wish to move the stars

So your life will speak for itself
and does not need me after all

And will be misunderstood
and wrongfully judged
and hailed
and missed

And at that moment that I dread the most
Leave me
with nothing left to say

copyright t.ewing2008