You talk to me in fairy tales
of long forgotten dreams
Our happily-ever-after love
was harder than it seemed
You think you've had enough
You think you've the right to jump
You talk about the could've beens
talk of what you lost
Is the price you paid for love
more than what it costs?
You think you've had enough
You think you've the right to jump
Someday when you're off and on your own...
Someday when your free from what we called a home
You knew exactly someday what you'd say
But now you stand there silent you're somedays come today
You think you've had enough
You think you've the right to jump
Cause you've had enough
Don't give you the right to jump
Jump
What am I supposed to say?
What do you want to hear?
Is forgiveness what you seek
or is it what you fear?
You think you've had enough
You think you've the right to jump
Jump
Cause you've had enough
Don't give you the right to jump
Jump
copyright2008t.ewing
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3 comments:
I like both of these song lyrics, especially this one. Do they have music yet? Or did you just conceive of them as songs rather than as poems?
AJ
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www.ajharbison.com
I like this as well. AS AJ asked does it have music to it? If not you should get him to set it too music :) I was wondering who you wrote this about? Is it something I should remember? WHen did you write it? I think the feeling behind it is sad, but put well. I also like that you say nothing gives one the right to jump. If I've interpretted correctly then i agree that nothing gives you the right to jump.
~Nicole~
Without music, lyrics are hard. Maybe that's just because I don't have a good enough imagination, but to me, song lyrics and poetry aren't necessarily the same thing, so a song without music is missing an essential part of its identity. So you need to take this critiques with some good strong Margarita salt. One problem, third stanza, second line, "your" is a possessive pronoun; "you're" is the contracted form of "you are". Shame on you. Also in that stanza I question the use of the past--"You knew exactly what you'd say" confuses me. "You know exactly what you'll say" would, to me, bring to mind our human tendency to splash our past decisions with rose-colored paint, the old "road less traveled" fallacy. And finally, I think sometimes we have to jump. Sometimes there is no other choice. And sometimes, people jump from us, leaving us spinning our pinwheels solo, with nothing left to say. Which is, perhaps, your point.
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